The "I hate men" Club

Some important facts you should know before getting into a relationship, taken from Jerry Seinfeld's book 'Seinlanguage'

Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night?

It could happen. It's happened to a lot of people. You always think to yourself, 'I can handle this. It's no big deal.' 

But your hair the next morning is the true reflection of how you really feel inside. Your hair freaks out when it wakes up at somebody else's house. You go in the bathroom, it's like

 'This is not our sink, this is not our brush, this is not our mirror--AAHHH!!'

Men are like firemen. To them, sex is an emergency, and no matter what they're doing, they can be ready in two minutes.

Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.

Each man and each woman actually does have an owner's manual. Nothing's written down anywhere, but the directions for operation of an individual in a relationship are detailed and specific nonetheless. 

So when you start out with someone, you're essentially driving a strange car for the first time and none of the controls are labeled. The wipers come on at strange times, sometimes you stall. On top of that, we've met people with bad steering, no brakes, needs a muffler, headlights a little dim, too much in the trunk, not enough under the hood, prone to backfiring, won't turn over, and just plain out of gas.