The "I hate men" Club

"After a day of lying in bed with excruciating cramps doing nothing but watch sickly sweet anime’s and doing dramaturgical work I finally convinced myself that I should get outside before all of the sunlight was gone. I popped in my earbuds and grabbed my Chinese Opera sheet music and headed to the park... Soon enough I gave up trying to transcribe the music I had set out to and began childishly playing in the grass looking for clovers. I began singing to myself and unwittingly began singing Edith Piaf’s “Milord” which details a story of a prostitute trying to proposition a heartbroken man.

No sooner had I finished the song than a woman in her late 30’s carrying a child’s backpack approached me and asked me in French : “ Have you had the same thing happen to you?” Not really understanding her meaning, and also being a bit weary of the situation, I looked at her with a look of perplextion and didn’t say anything.

She then continued “...well I just thought that because of the song you were singing that you had had someone leave you like me.” Immediately I understood.

The woman then proceeded to tell me her sad story of how her husband had left her for another woman and how her family had disowned her for still loving him. How she needed to move back in with her mother who belittled her for being depressed and wounded. How for reasons out of her control documents were now being processed which would declare her marriage nullified. How in her desperate search for employment she had to go through the vile process of being offered low paying positions in exchange for sexual favours.

I listened to the miserable story and I eventually met the lady’s 3 year old daughter who immediately began bringing me gifts and hugging me and kissing me whenever she came near. From what I understood the couple were no longer together, that the man thought that taking a year break would fix everything. He needed to heal from the pain she inflicted upon her and she needed to heal her wounds. Of course this is not at all what Madelina (I soon discovered her name) wanted to happen, she wanted them to be together. “I just want my little family back” she repeated through tears. It was clear that all she had ever wanted out of life was to be a wife and a mother.

This man destroyed and was punishing this lovely lady because in her rage over the other woman and his refusal to stop seeing her she pushed over the bookcase that had all of his gaming material and all of his video games were ruined. (From what I can gather this man is in his mid 40’s)

I am sorry but WTF!!! How is this allowed to happen? What kind of Patriarchal society do we live in that makes it possible for a man to leave his wife with nothing and for society to somehow blame the woman! Her entire family has disowned her because she loves this man. Although I think everyone in the world, aside from herself, can see that this is an immature bum who is only torturing her, I know further punishment to coheres her into making the right decision is the last thing that this woman needs. This poor woman feels soo alone that the only person she can talk to is some stranger in the park. 

The worst parts is that I recognize her state everything is difficult to do she wants to die, she feels like a failure, she is humiliated and she feels alone... abandoned. This is the worst situation for someone who is in such a volatile state to be in.

How can men be so immature and selfish somehow the act of destroying a stack of video games is not equal to openly cheating on your partner. Oh yes and refusing to leave your girlfriend while you’re still with your wife. Emotions can get the best of us and make us think irrationally. Madelina’s words still echo in my mind “I’m so afraid that he won’t come back...” “No matter what I do everything reminds me of our life, you can’t erase 10 years...I know I will always love him.”

I know this woman is in a lot of pain and a bit disillusioned as to what is right but I don’t think anyone can force her into cutting her husband out of her life. I can’t understand how this man thinks that this woman is disposable... and that his loving daughter deserves to be without a father for an entire year... men really disgust me some times.

Natasha Perry-Fagant